I don't know why I can't accept things for what they are? I guess maybe I don't do well with change unless it is my idea. So here it goes I am going to lay it out and maybe after I finish typing I will fell better.
Deep breath...Back in October right after I found out I was pregnant I was offered a "new" job. Basically it would get me off night shift 2 nights a weeks. I would work 2 days and 1 night. During the day I would be doing a job that I know I would really enjoy!! I would be filling in for the Resident Care Coordinator. So months go by and they can't find anyone to fill my nights, and the census goes done, and long story short I am still on night shift. ( For now, more on that later).
While all this is going on Tracy is out on disability for her back. Physical therapy, tests, Doctor's appointments, we get slapped with a bill for her deductible. We then get slapped with a bill for my deductible. Totaling $5000!! Tracy's only bringing in 60% of her income, not likely that we can pay that.
Mid December we get the news from Tracy's work that she may actually lose her job. She carries both of our health insurance. Not good. But I take care of business for myself and get enrolled at work during open enrollment, one problem solved. At the beginning of January Tracy asked for an extension of her FMLA go finish up some tests before returning to work. They deny it and kindly terminate her from her position saying she is welcome to apply for any open positions, conveniently enough there are not positions available. Whatever, she seems quite relieve to be done with all that drama.
I probably had a few melt downs over all this. I mean really that is a huge chunk of our household income now gone. She applies for unemployment and goes to Vocational Reheb. Unemployment says they are back logged 8 weeks and it could take up to 12 weeks before she gets a check. OK I don;t know how many people can go 12 weeks without a pay check but fortunately it doesn't put us in immediate dire straights.
Tracy is not one to just sit around, she has lots of ideas and plans. Honestly, I don't always give her the support she needs when it comes to this area. But I am trying. She decides that a job is better than no job. So she takes a part time job with an hourly wage that is half of what she was making before. I am grateful that she wants so badly to contribute. The job is not easy for her to do because her back is still not well.
So my cry baby self now has to get used to the idea that she is not going to be around my every waking moment. I guess I got used to her always being home. Now she is working on the days I am off, just a few hours. And 2 nights that I work she leaves for work either right before or right after I get up. OK now just looking at this, 2 nights, really and I am upset about this. I am sure some couples work completely opposite days and shifts and hardly see eachother.
I guess this upsets me because I treasure our time together. You just never know what moment will be your last and I like to try to have as much time together as possible.
So then good news comes to the home front. There are some positions shifting at work and I applied for the Resident Care Coordinator position because the current person in that position is being promoted. There is no reason why I should not get this job. I would be working Monday-Friday day shift. I think I will feel a lot better emotionally and physically. I want to be home every night. My body is craving a normal schedule. Please everyone pray that I get this job and that our lives come back together.
More on this later. And on a much happier note: OUR ULTRASOUND IS MONDAY!!!! GIRL OR BOY???? We will see!!!!!
